Paragraph Coherence Exercise

( C ) The chat room is a good resource to use inside and outside of the classroom. Chat rooms are very effective resources because they even allow me to converse with me to converse with toher members of my Biology class to discuss lectures and labs. A lot of classes around campus have the chat rooms set up privately for only the students registered in that class. This is a security device that makes sure people who do not belong to a particular class do not gain entrance to the room.

( D ) Dogs are a more suitable and effective alternative for weapons. Dogs served as the preffered alternative to excessive force around housing developments off campus for students attending the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA).Although suspects have claimed to be badly bitten, these cases are extremely rare compared to the many documented good deeds and rescues involving human lives performed by police canines.

Cohesion

Looks Versus Life
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*Two advertisements present the same product, an automobile, but intend to capture very different audiences. One, an [@ advertisement] for a 3-door Hyundai intends to attract the consumers who prefer a good looking and inexpensive car, or as Hyundai put it, “a car that’s as easy on the eye as it is on the wallet.” (NEED COMMA TO CONNECT TWO SENTENCES) While the advertisement for a Ford automobile is intended to sell to those whose main concern is safety. In these two particular car advertisements, the colors, images, styles, and texts are all aspects proving the differences in the two company’s intended audiences, whether mostly concerned with [@ safety or with price and aesthetics.]

*The [@ aesthetics] of the actual advertisements themselves have many similarities and only few differences. The Hyundai commercial is in color, showing an image of a red shining car in front of a muted yellow background, while the Ford commercial is in black and white and showing an image of a car’s plain, black dashboard with a large white airbag that has already been deployed. [@ Although the colors may be different], the layout of the advertisements are similar. Both [@ (NEED: “of their layouts”)] contain one sentence in large bolded text immediately catching any reader’s eye, regardless of the targeted audience. [@ In addition to large bolded text], both ads have text in a small, simple font at the bottom of the advertisement, underneath all other, larger components. [@ (NEED: “In addition,”)] Both contain one equally large image of an automobile, whether interior or exterior, making it obvious, without reading the text, that the advertisement is about cars. "


This exercise definitely seemed pointless at the beginning, however, as i went along, i realized it was useful becuase i did identify errors that needed changing in order to make these two paragraphs more cohesive.

Tiger Tear Down

I think that the change in policy, if even for this year, is absolutely appropriate and neccessary. Niether the fellow students nor the family's of the fire victims want to be reminded of such a tragedy. I have never heard of such a tradition, but since it exists, it must be changed if even for this year only.

Hybrids and Nuclear Energy

Both Carolina Reader essays explore the negative and positive aspects of two different topics both concerned with lowering pollutants. One, an article by Jamie Lincoln Kitman discusses hybrid cars and adresses that most are not helping the environment at all while costing the consumer more money. The second, an article by Patrick Moore, explores the facts and myths about nuclear energy and claims that it is the best way to generate energy without polluting as much as its alternatives. Both authors not only support their strong sides of the argument but also adress the opposing sides as well. Kitman says that Hybrids are thought to "reduce gasoline consumption" and "dependence on foreign oil" by running on battery, however, in truth, it depends on the hybrid and also how/where you drive it. He says that while they are technologically advanced and ,therefore, intriguing, he says that hybrid vehivle assure "extra weight, extra complexity and extra expense." He suggests that the use of hybrid taxis and buses are realistic and will definitely reduce pollutants and get the city's money's worth. On, the other hand, Patrick Moore also explores rebuttal perspectives while strongly arguing his claim that nuclear energy should be further explored and employed as the main use of energy. He states that although he "doesn't want to underestimate the very real dangers of nuclear technology in the hands of rogue states, we cannot ban every technology that is dangerous." He explores the other alternatives to power such as wind power, solar power, coal, hydroelectric power, natural gas, and fossil fuel and states why nuclear energy is the best choice since it is "the only viable substitute for coal." Another effective aspect about Moore's article was his true/false section that stated the myths about nuclear energy and why they are myths as opposed to facts. And since Moore is the co-founder of Greenpeace, his argument is even more convincing by displaying that nuclear power may actually be in the best interest of the earth. While Kitman is a bureau cheif af an automobile magazine, he doesn't establish as much credibility as a proclaimed expert would, although his job does entail his full knowledge of vehicles and their markets.

Global Warming

Although both of these Carolina Reader essays are based on the subject of global warming they actually discuss two different things. Richard Lindzen's essay does not claim that some action should be taken in order to prevent or reduce global warming, but instead, claims that the way global warming is discussed, substantiated, and percieved should be different. He's demanding a new way to inform by gaining credibility for climate alarms, not a new way to emit less toxins or use less gas. The essay by Jeffrey Kluger gives evidence of exactly what Lindzen says he is trying to rid: an alarmist view with little to no credibility that, in the end, has more impact than a professional climatologists opinion. Kluger's dramatic and extensive examples such as, "pump enough CO2 into the sky, and that last part per million of greenhouse gas behaves like the 212th degree Farenheit that turns a pot of water into a plume of billowing steam," can fool the audience into believing that Co2 is killing the earth and the people on it. But Kluger seems to be hiding unstable support behind alot of dramatic words.

Policy or Proposal?

Since so many things in the environment would need changing, controlling, and monitoring, it would be clearer to write a policy paper and describe the harmful effects of obesity and how we may consider solving them. My main claim in this policy paper with be that obesity is a harmful disease, describe its effects, and suggest ways of improving our health personally and collectively. Although i have some research for the harmful effects of obesity i will need to further research how they correllate to our environment and behaviors. In addition, i suspect i will need more sources on specific, negative side-effects of obesity as opposed to global, economic side-effects.

Point IV from 11/08

My exploratory essay explained only the negative perspectives of obesity since no resources support obesity. However, i stated three of the main causes of obesity including genetics, medications, and environmental factors and described them in detail. The dominant perspective was definitely the environmental factors such as fast food and family behaviors. Since genetics and perscription medications due influence weight gain they are only small contributors. Therefore, the increase in obesity can only be an effect of American's lifestyle change over recent years. I can only support the dominant research showing that environmental changes are influencing obesity the most, since genetics cannot transform so quickly and since medications are only a small factor. The most prevelent factor, the environment, needs to be dominant because it is the only factor that americans can control. The most difficult aspect, is enforcing healthy behavior amongst such an unhealthy environment.