Cohesion

Looks Versus Life
"
*Two advertisements present the same product, an automobile, but intend to capture very different audiences. One, an [@ advertisement] for a 3-door Hyundai intends to attract the consumers who prefer a good looking and inexpensive car, or as Hyundai put it, “a car that’s as easy on the eye as it is on the wallet.” (NEED COMMA TO CONNECT TWO SENTENCES) While the advertisement for a Ford automobile is intended to sell to those whose main concern is safety. In these two particular car advertisements, the colors, images, styles, and texts are all aspects proving the differences in the two company’s intended audiences, whether mostly concerned with [@ safety or with price and aesthetics.]

*The [@ aesthetics] of the actual advertisements themselves have many similarities and only few differences. The Hyundai commercial is in color, showing an image of a red shining car in front of a muted yellow background, while the Ford commercial is in black and white and showing an image of a car’s plain, black dashboard with a large white airbag that has already been deployed. [@ Although the colors may be different], the layout of the advertisements are similar. Both [@ (NEED: “of their layouts”)] contain one sentence in large bolded text immediately catching any reader’s eye, regardless of the targeted audience. [@ In addition to large bolded text], both ads have text in a small, simple font at the bottom of the advertisement, underneath all other, larger components. [@ (NEED: “In addition,”)] Both contain one equally large image of an automobile, whether interior or exterior, making it obvious, without reading the text, that the advertisement is about cars. "


This exercise definitely seemed pointless at the beginning, however, as i went along, i realized it was useful becuase i did identify errors that needed changing in order to make these two paragraphs more cohesive.