Paragraph Coherence Exercise

( C ) The chat room is a good resource to use inside and outside of the classroom. Chat rooms are very effective resources because they even allow me to converse with me to converse with toher members of my Biology class to discuss lectures and labs. A lot of classes around campus have the chat rooms set up privately for only the students registered in that class. This is a security device that makes sure people who do not belong to a particular class do not gain entrance to the room.

( D ) Dogs are a more suitable and effective alternative for weapons. Dogs served as the preffered alternative to excessive force around housing developments off campus for students attending the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA).Although suspects have claimed to be badly bitten, these cases are extremely rare compared to the many documented good deeds and rescues involving human lives performed by police canines.

Cohesion

Looks Versus Life
"
*Two advertisements present the same product, an automobile, but intend to capture very different audiences. One, an [@ advertisement] for a 3-door Hyundai intends to attract the consumers who prefer a good looking and inexpensive car, or as Hyundai put it, “a car that’s as easy on the eye as it is on the wallet.” (NEED COMMA TO CONNECT TWO SENTENCES) While the advertisement for a Ford automobile is intended to sell to those whose main concern is safety. In these two particular car advertisements, the colors, images, styles, and texts are all aspects proving the differences in the two company’s intended audiences, whether mostly concerned with [@ safety or with price and aesthetics.]

*The [@ aesthetics] of the actual advertisements themselves have many similarities and only few differences. The Hyundai commercial is in color, showing an image of a red shining car in front of a muted yellow background, while the Ford commercial is in black and white and showing an image of a car’s plain, black dashboard with a large white airbag that has already been deployed. [@ Although the colors may be different], the layout of the advertisements are similar. Both [@ (NEED: “of their layouts”)] contain one sentence in large bolded text immediately catching any reader’s eye, regardless of the targeted audience. [@ In addition to large bolded text], both ads have text in a small, simple font at the bottom of the advertisement, underneath all other, larger components. [@ (NEED: “In addition,”)] Both contain one equally large image of an automobile, whether interior or exterior, making it obvious, without reading the text, that the advertisement is about cars. "


This exercise definitely seemed pointless at the beginning, however, as i went along, i realized it was useful becuase i did identify errors that needed changing in order to make these two paragraphs more cohesive.

Tiger Tear Down

I think that the change in policy, if even for this year, is absolutely appropriate and neccessary. Niether the fellow students nor the family's of the fire victims want to be reminded of such a tragedy. I have never heard of such a tradition, but since it exists, it must be changed if even for this year only.

Hybrids and Nuclear Energy

Both Carolina Reader essays explore the negative and positive aspects of two different topics both concerned with lowering pollutants. One, an article by Jamie Lincoln Kitman discusses hybrid cars and adresses that most are not helping the environment at all while costing the consumer more money. The second, an article by Patrick Moore, explores the facts and myths about nuclear energy and claims that it is the best way to generate energy without polluting as much as its alternatives. Both authors not only support their strong sides of the argument but also adress the opposing sides as well. Kitman says that Hybrids are thought to "reduce gasoline consumption" and "dependence on foreign oil" by running on battery, however, in truth, it depends on the hybrid and also how/where you drive it. He says that while they are technologically advanced and ,therefore, intriguing, he says that hybrid vehivle assure "extra weight, extra complexity and extra expense." He suggests that the use of hybrid taxis and buses are realistic and will definitely reduce pollutants and get the city's money's worth. On, the other hand, Patrick Moore also explores rebuttal perspectives while strongly arguing his claim that nuclear energy should be further explored and employed as the main use of energy. He states that although he "doesn't want to underestimate the very real dangers of nuclear technology in the hands of rogue states, we cannot ban every technology that is dangerous." He explores the other alternatives to power such as wind power, solar power, coal, hydroelectric power, natural gas, and fossil fuel and states why nuclear energy is the best choice since it is "the only viable substitute for coal." Another effective aspect about Moore's article was his true/false section that stated the myths about nuclear energy and why they are myths as opposed to facts. And since Moore is the co-founder of Greenpeace, his argument is even more convincing by displaying that nuclear power may actually be in the best interest of the earth. While Kitman is a bureau cheif af an automobile magazine, he doesn't establish as much credibility as a proclaimed expert would, although his job does entail his full knowledge of vehicles and their markets.

Global Warming

Although both of these Carolina Reader essays are based on the subject of global warming they actually discuss two different things. Richard Lindzen's essay does not claim that some action should be taken in order to prevent or reduce global warming, but instead, claims that the way global warming is discussed, substantiated, and percieved should be different. He's demanding a new way to inform by gaining credibility for climate alarms, not a new way to emit less toxins or use less gas. The essay by Jeffrey Kluger gives evidence of exactly what Lindzen says he is trying to rid: an alarmist view with little to no credibility that, in the end, has more impact than a professional climatologists opinion. Kluger's dramatic and extensive examples such as, "pump enough CO2 into the sky, and that last part per million of greenhouse gas behaves like the 212th degree Farenheit that turns a pot of water into a plume of billowing steam," can fool the audience into believing that Co2 is killing the earth and the people on it. But Kluger seems to be hiding unstable support behind alot of dramatic words.

Policy or Proposal?

Since so many things in the environment would need changing, controlling, and monitoring, it would be clearer to write a policy paper and describe the harmful effects of obesity and how we may consider solving them. My main claim in this policy paper with be that obesity is a harmful disease, describe its effects, and suggest ways of improving our health personally and collectively. Although i have some research for the harmful effects of obesity i will need to further research how they correllate to our environment and behaviors. In addition, i suspect i will need more sources on specific, negative side-effects of obesity as opposed to global, economic side-effects.

Point IV from 11/08

My exploratory essay explained only the negative perspectives of obesity since no resources support obesity. However, i stated three of the main causes of obesity including genetics, medications, and environmental factors and described them in detail. The dominant perspective was definitely the environmental factors such as fast food and family behaviors. Since genetics and perscription medications due influence weight gain they are only small contributors. Therefore, the increase in obesity can only be an effect of American's lifestyle change over recent years. I can only support the dominant research showing that environmental changes are influencing obesity the most, since genetics cannot transform so quickly and since medications are only a small factor. The most prevelent factor, the environment, needs to be dominant because it is the only factor that americans can control. The most difficult aspect, is enforcing healthy behavior amongst such an unhealthy environment.

USC Policy Revision

Like i said in the quiz last class, the parking "system" on the USC campus is in URGENT need of revision. I call it a "system" because it really isn't a reliable system at all. I propose that there be more parking spaces, whether free or via meter, but regardless, there be semester-round parking passes that can be purchased through the CITY of Columbia rather than the school, so that once you have paid a certain amount for the semester, you have access to unlimited parking at ANY meter in the city and on campus. If this change were implemented it would be less difficult for students to get correct change, harder to get tickets and also profit the city. Since this proposition would ultimately profit the city, even after the costs of developing a system to make the passes, which is both the city's and school's motivation. The parking "system" is the way it is because it makes money. Most people don't have enough change or quarters, which causes them to get tickets. If the price of a pass were resonable for both the city and the students (approx. 200$), in the end, everyone would benefit. Anyways, it would be worth it not to be so frustrated EVERYDAY!

The [F-ing] Carolina Reader Essays!

In the two Carolina Reader essays, both topics focus on the meaning and usage of the word "fuck." I don't think that they are arguing opposing views because they both believe that the f-word is increasing in usage and is also loosing it's meaning. However, Reilly is less instistant upon making an active initiative to stop swearing, while Achenbach is stressing that the usage of these profanities is causing a serious problem in the world. For instance, Achenbach supports his claim by using evidence from a serious lawsuit over profanity on the radio while Reilly is less serious and suggests people should use other words like "you son of a biscuit," to reprsent these vulgarities.

Free Write

When i was little, i had basically no ties to the military. None of my family was active duty or even a retired veteran, besides my grandfather who NEVER talked about it. And at that time, if i were to take a position, it would probably have been that the military is scary and bad! Only until the last 4 or 5 years, have begun to comtemplate whether the military is really beneficial for an individual (male or female) and whether it is really difficult, fun, rewarding, etc. When i met my boyfirend of three years,who has been in the military, basically his entire life, and now serves in the Air Force, i was thrown into a whole new world of military life and everything that goes with it. I couldn't help but form opinions about my new lifelstyle, both very good and bad. Ultimately, i see the military as a great oportunity, though sometimes very difficult for both the duty member and his/her partner, and in some cases, a chance to save your life.

SWA # 9

An excerpt from a book entitled “The Fat Girl’s Guide to Life,” by Wendy Shanker, establishes a strong ethos towards how Americans view body image, especially larger bodies. As an overweight individual, Shanker describes how she struggled with body acceptance not only because of negative views from other people and society, but because of the negative outlook she imposed upon herself. Her evidence is mostly personal anecdotes or experiences which allows her ethos in this excerpt to be powerful and effective by applying to most situations of people’s denial of themselves. Whether it is body image or stereotypes, her first-hand experience with self-acceptance or lack thereof, is a model for everyone unhappy with their bodies or their lives. Since the topic of self-acceptance is so universal, the audience is almost endless, for it is rare to find a person content with every aspect of their lives.

In an article by Eleanor Randolph called “The Big, Fat American Kid Crisis…And 10 Things We Should Do About It, “Randolph poses the claim that American kids are fat, and getting fatter, because of unhealthy food enterprise. She formulates a proposal detailing how to stop, or at least greatly decrease, this “Big Food” presence in everyday American children’s life. She is extremely effective by proposing small, and therefore possible, strides that ten aspects of society could implement to stop obesity in children. By encompassing almost every important aspect and cause of obesity including banning junk food in schools, ceasing unhealthy food advertisements targeted at children, labeling nutritious facts at restaurants, and increasing proper health education for both children and adults, her proposal would likely succeed.

Questions for the Reviewer

I am pretty confident about my first draft exploratory essay. However, while I was actually writing the essay i changed the thesis from focusing on both the causes and effects of obesity to only stressing the causes of obesity. my question is:

• Would adding two more paragraphs of the effects of obesity (one-medical effects, the other-economic effects) enhance or distract from my essay of the main causes of obesity?

Plane ticket prices

plane tickets are absurdly expensive, however, that isn't the most frustrating aspect about them. The thing about plane ticket prices is that they can increase exponentially in just a couple of hours. say for instance i wanted to go home to texas for the holidays and, on a monday, save a hypothetical itinerary on a website. Well on tuesday night the fare could have gone up by 200 $ or more! How is this drastic change so sudden? And since you are basically required to book months in advance in order to get a realiistically priced fare, why are refundable tickets so much more expensive? It's like oil prices, one day to the next. I just don't get it!